I haven’t written for the blog in a long time, or managed to do the challenge. I have finally mustered up the courage to write an entry.
I still haven’t done the challenge, and here is why.
Over the past few months, I have lost the passion for food. Sounds ridiculous that one can lose a passion for something that you need to survive everyday, but I have. I am small in build and have been underweight my entire life. A few years ago, I got the courage to join a gym and work out. I was still weighing too little, but my body started to change and I looked really healthy. But then I started to notice that no matter what, I would lose weight, and it would take me forever to pick it up again.
My week entails making sure I eat 3 solid meals a day with small healthy snacks between meals. I think about what my meals consist of, whether or not I get enough protein and healthy fats everyday. I never go to bed without eating something first. I exercise 2 to 3 times a week: low on cardiovascular, high on weights and toning.
Not many people think that this is something that should bring me down. Not many people understand. And because of this, I have been feeling alone and stupid for feeling unhappy and struggling with my weight. After all, in the modern world, the skinnier you are the better.
In the past year I have lost more weight than I ever have and am currently weighing the same as a small child. Losing weight, while working so hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle has really been tough on me. And I guess I just gave up.
Slowly but surely, I have found the courage to start again. I now snack more regularly between meals to keep my appetite going. I started watching food programs on TV, started reading recipes online and looked through my various cookbooks at home. I started cooking once in a while and slowly, the passion is returning. I can’t say it is back to normal, but it is a start.
I made some simple meals…some of which I have taken photos of to share. This is a Malay Mutton Curry which I made for Eid-ul-Fitr, the Muslim holiday after the month of fasting.
I also made a sweet-sour chicken recipe from my hero, Gordon Ramsay. I made two attempts at this recipe, because the first time, I was very unhappy with the result. The picture is of my first attempt. The second attempt was perfect!
I am still underweight…..very underweight. But I now have the belief and motivation that I can get my weight up again, and look healthy.